A conversation on healing

The following notes are a result of a roundtable conversation on the power of healing.  The conversation took place at the monthly gathering of the Servant-Leader Milwaukee roundtable held on Thursday, August 28th.  The roundtable is free of charge and open to all.

For more information about Servant-Leader Milwaukee and the Servant-Leader roundtable, please go to www.s-l-milwaukee.com.

Roundtable summary notes

 

Awareness:

  • It is important to be mindful that everyone has things on their mind.  Usually you can tell when a person is feeling good or bad.
  • It is a natural tendency to project our own beliefs and expectations onto the actions of others.  Know each person’s disposition.  Recognize when people need help in order to heal.
  • Be kinder and gentler because everyone is fighting their own battle.
  • In order to lead we must be aware of how many dimensions we all have.  Self-awareness is key.

 

Empathy:

  • Lots of people have personal issues.  Being understanding of that as a leader is a big help to people in and of itself.
  • Let them know you are human too and your own improvements.
  • Make yourself available and vulnerable.
  • Be gentle.
  • Roy O shared that a friend had to retire because of Parkinson’s.  8-10 friends spend a couple hours a week with him.  His body won’t heal…but, his mind is being healed.
  • You can learn more about acceptance (and your faith) from someone who has suffered, than from any other source.
  • Listening and healing are both a two way street.
  • Healing has many forms.  You as a healer can be healed in the process.
  • We should consider EMPATHY as a separate topic.

 

Listening:

  • Listening is part of helping people with healing.
  • Being listened to is a transformative experience.Listen to understand.
    Listening can be more impactful than trying to fix things.  Trying to fix people who just want to be heard creats barrier.
  • Some people want a magic pill.  There’s no such thing.  Just listen.
  • Usually people want you to keep your solutions to yourself, unless they ask for them.
  • I’m asking you because I want to know.  I’m not asking you to set you up.   There must be sincerity in your intent.

 

Stewardship:

  • The formal or informal leader sets the tone in any group.
  • As leaders we need to model the way as a person of empathy.
  • Sometimes this requires us to fight the urge to fix others even though we are confident we know how we can help them.
  • Ask, “What if we did it this way?”, rather than saying, “Do it this way.”  This gentler approach is more powerful.
  • There needs to be a certain level of trust.

 

Building community:

  • There are always people in every group that need healing.
  • The country needs healing due to racial strife and political polarity.
    You need to have a relationship with people to help them heal.
  • There is our outside persona, to really know someone you need to get to know them and know what character is behind that outside persona.
  • If people have a bad experience on the job and are broken…as a leader you can (and should) pick them up.
  • Trust and empathy are key.
  • There are times in organizational life where the need for healing arises from within.  Ask the question…What happened here?  Let the other person come to the conclusion.
  • It’s the individuals who lack empathy who are a cause for concern.  As a leader may need to break them down…show them a mirror…and then heal them.
  • Teamwork theme: “I” will die…”We” must be.
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Author: Dan Lococo

I am a whole person called to engage with others as they realize their own wholeness. Service is the act of engaging with others on their journey to realizing their own wholeness. (December, 2013)

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